


A drunk mind speaks a sober heart

by Ziane



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Bar Room Brawl, Butt Slapping, Drinking, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fem!Hanzo, Female Hanzo, Female Hanzo Character, Fluff and Smut, Love Bites, Love Confessions, NSFW, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rule 63, Sex, Shameless Smut, save a horse ride a cowboy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 18:13:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13105779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziane/pseuds/Ziane
Summary: McCree gets so drunk he doesn't remember anything from the night before and yet, he wakes up with a little surprise in his bed.A mirrored non AU version:http://archiveofourown.org/works/13110441Disclaimer: Hanzo is a woman





	A drunk mind speaks a sober heart

A piercing morning light slipped through the Venetian blinds of his hotel room, bugging his still unopened eyes and forcing him to bury his face in the comfortable pillow he was hugged into. McCree’s face hurt like he had been dragged under a horse several times, but, against his better instincts, he snuggled deeper into the not too firm but not too soft surface under his head, his hand grasping the warmth of it under the.. blankets? McCree blinked. Pillows aren’t that soft nor that warm, and they don’t move.

He opened his eyes, stuck with eye boogers, to find a way too recognizable fabric pattern underneath. Her kimono. That thin soft fabric he had seen her wearing once at the infirmary back on the Overwatch headquarters. His head wasn’t resting on some comfortable pillow but Hanzo’s lap, and his hand wasn’t under a blanket but under her garments, grasping  her thigh greedily. The cowboy maliciously smirked, pretending to be asleep and not moving an inch from his body, in fact, staying as still as he could. He didn’t want to risk waking Hanzo up. His face hurt enough like it was to risk a slap from the tempered woman.

McCree closed his eyes again and licked his lips, his mouth dry and thick, a good indicator of the amount of alcohol he had drunk last night.

 _How did I end up with the sweet pie in my bed?_ He wondered. _I ain’t care, I ain’t moving ‘til I’m dead_.

McCree couldn’t see her, but he guessed the pressure he was feeling on the top of his head was her stomach, feeling her steady breath and small movements, and relishing every single one of them. She must’ve fallen asleep at his side, leaning on the headboard. And he must’ve crawled onto her in his sleep.

 _Well done, sleepin’ cowboy. I’m proud of ya’_ , he congratulated his past self.

Some flashes of last night’s events assailed his mind, distracting him from Hanzo’s body momentarily. He remembered the end of the mission. Good. It was a success. He also remembered flirting with the archer. Nothing new there either. He remembered keeping count on the enemies falling at their unmerciful fierceness in the battlefield, the sweat covering her exposed arm and neck and that wicked smile whenever she struck an arrow that always thrilled the cowboy. It went right into his groin every time he thought about Hanzo like that, a lingering pressure growing down his body. He clawed his fingers in her thigh, risking waking her up and some bruises she’d be mad about.

 _Hello mornin’ wood_ , he realized.

Hanzo had been reluctant to the cowboy’s charms and it only made him more persistent. McCree had played this game before, though she was a formidable opponent and whenever he saw the small twitch on her lips, that he had learned to identify as a smile, he felt a warmth in his heart that scared him to death, considering himself lost in Hanzo’s ravishing fangs.

 _Not a bad place to die_ , the cowboy thought.

More flashes. A celebration with the gang. A shit-hole poor excuse for a bar. Hanzo in civilian clothes, wearing a short dress that left a permanent swell in his pants since he spotted her, for all he can remember. A kiss. A brief kiss on Hanzo’s lascivious lips. Before a blackout. Movement snapped him out of his reverie, dreading the awakening of the dragon underneath him.

McCree pretended to be asleep once more, breathing calmly against her legs and, again, not daring to move his hand, now sweaty and a bit whistleblower. Hanzo was definitely awake, standing up and stretching the muscles.

 _Dang, it! I’m screwed_ , the cowboy thought.

But Hanzo ran her fingers through his hair, moving it away from his face and McCree was unable to repress the smirk on his face. A quick slap from Hanzo on his cheek was enough to make him flinch and grunt in pain.

“Good morning, cowboy,” Hanzo said, her morning voice husky and deeper than usual, which McCree thought it was the sweetest thing he had ever heard. “Care to remove your hand from my backside?” She asked, looking down at him. The cowboy tilted his head up to meet her eyes.

“I believe your ass is up there…” he said, slowly leading his hand dangerously up Hanzo’s leg.

“I know exactly where it is,” Hanzo glared at him, grasping his wrist and removing his hand from under her robe.

McCree resigned himself to treasure that moment for the rest of his life as the morning he had woken up with his coveted fantasy right at his fingertips and nothing else. Hanzo stood up while he leaned on the headboard and watched the soft fabric flying around her movements as she handed him a glass of water and sat on the bed next to him.

“Much obliged,” he said, avidly gulping it down his throat. “Tell me, sweetheart, how did you end up in my bed?”

Hanzo had a smug smile spread on her face. “Poor cowboy, I am not in your bed, you are in mine.” McCree’s puzzled expression relaxed when he recognized that the room looked like his own, but not quite. It was Hanzo’s.

“So you really don’t remember anything about last night?” Hanzo asked, amused.

“Did you ride me all night long until exhaustion, darlin’?” McCree said, arching an eyebrow at her and licking his lips in a raunchy way he knew it would make her shudder.

“Wouldn’t you be devastated if I had done such thing and you did not remember it?” Hanzo said, that triumphant half-smile painting her face.

“Good point,” the cowboy conceded, realizing she was still there in the bed, that she was smiling and, more important, flirting back, which happened less often than he would like to. He had to be careful. If he said the wrong thing, she would shut down and kick him out of there in no time.

“Wanna bounce in my lap, sugar?” McCree said, cursing himself for it and his stupid foggy brain lacking the much needed flow of blood. Hanzo laughed. She actually laughed, and it was enrapturing and terrifying at the same time. He was ready for the slap, for a punch even, a knife to his throat or a kick on his face, but she just laughed.

“So you don’t remember anything, cowboy?” Hanzo asked again, dismissing his poorly pick-up line while the cowboy tried to focus and forget the image that had formed into his brain of Hanzo on top of him.

“There was…” the cowboy frowned, “a celebration?”

“Yes, and you drank too much. You always do,” Hanzo said, feeling pity for the cowboy and his confused face. “There was a brawl fight…” she waited for the enlightening in his eyes.

“Oh, shit, the bikers,” McCree said, remembering a group of guys talking to Hanzo and he inappropriately sticking his nose into it. Someone had just stepped into his lawn.

“No, cowboy, we ended up having drinks with them,” Hanzo was enjoying this too much for her own sake. “But later that night, the bikers got into a huge fight at the bar, and you joined them like you were an honorific member of the gang.” McCree looked down at his knuckles and saw the marks and bruises, remembering flashes of tables flying, broken bottles, blocking someone over the pool table. Breaking the pool table. It had been so much fun.

“Why engage yourself in such vile deeds, cowboy?” She lectured him. Hanzo watched McCree’s eyes wide open as he remembered, and then a smirk. A mischievous smile twitching his lips.

“I hit the jackpot last night,” McCree said to her.

“There was a slot machine and you clung to it for awhile, yes,” Hanzo said, frowning at him.

“I’m not talkin’ about the one-armed bandit, which honestly, I don’t even remember,” McCree said with a hoarse laugh. “You kissed me last night, darlin’. You gave the cowboy some sugar and I ain’t gonna forget that.”

Hanzo inevitably blushed and McCree’s smirk widened. “To be fair, gunslinger, you kissed me,” she finally said, proud eyes looking into his.

McCree stood up and cupped her face. Hanzo didn’t pull away. “Then, I’ma gonna kiss you again, sugar,” he whispered into her mouth, his morning breath tinted with whiskey. Hanzo parted her lips and grasped his mouth roughly, pressing her lips relentlessly against the cowboy’s and invading his mouth with her tongue. A hoarse repressed chuckled from the cowboy interrupted the kiss. She glared at him, annoyed. McCree knew he was pushing his luck but this was too good to be true.

“Ya’ sure I kissed you and not the other way ‘round, honey?” the cowboy teased her. Hanzo stood up, deciding to run away from there, but McCree was faster and gripped her waist, bringing her down the bed with him and lying on top of her, their legs tangled around the sheets. She was blushing and, again, the cowboy thought she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“You said things yesterday, gunslinger, when you were so drunk you had stumbled in my bed like a dead man,” Hanzo said.

“I don’t remember, sweetheart,” the cowboy said, kissing briefly her lips and her jaw. Now that he had Hanzo in his arms he won’t let go of her. “But knowin’ ol’ drunk me, I probably told you how damn pretty you are.”

He gently kissed her lips again while his hand rested innocently on her waist.

“How I’ve been losing my mind the past few months thinkin’ only about your sweet face.”

His teeth nibbling her cheek as the cowboy saw a smirk on Hanzo’s face at his words. It encouraged him enough to tempt him into opening her robe slightly, feeling only skin underneath. If she was naked under that thing, he was going to rip it open.

“How I wake up everyday thinkin’ about ya’ an’ get in the sack every night hankering your sinful body,” McCree confessed, sliding his naughty hand inside the opened robe and down to her hip. She was naked. And he had to close his eyes and bury his face in the hollow of her neck, breathing the fresh scent of her skin and groaning. The waistband of his boxers strained his erection, unable to stay confined in his briefs any longer.

“You cheesy cowboy,” Hanzo said, stroking his hair until the cowboy came back to his senses and lifted his head to look at her. There was more than lust in McCree’s eyes. There were longing and something that resembled a joy long forgotten by him.

“I’ve been dreamin’ about this for months, Hanzo, and maybe yesterday I drank too much and fucked it up, but you haven’t kicked me out of yer’ bed yet, sweetheart,” he said, clawing his fingers on her ass and stealing a surprised moan from the archer.

“You are in no condition to please me, gunslinger,” Hanzo teased him, tangling a leg around his waist and feeling the throbbing bulk down his body pressing against her.

“I never refuse a challenge, sugar pot,” he said. McCree achingly kissed her neck while both his hands sneaked underneath her robe at her shoulders to remove it. Hanzo completely naked under his filthy cowboy hands.

 _Damn scrumptious woman. I won’t last a minute_ , he grumbled in his thoughts.

He kissed her mouth, mercilessly thrusting his tongue into it, drinking her whines like the thirsty man he was. “I’ma gonna eat you up, darlin’,” he warned her. Hanzo’s hands were teasing at the waistband of his boxers, pulling it down enough to free his thick length right into her hand.

“Cowboy!” Hanzo wailed, surprised at the size of the big, thick member at her reach. McCree chuckled amusedly until he felt her hand squeezing his length tightly and spreading his precum with the thumb around his swollen tip. He groaned in pleasure and collapsed on her chest, close enough to one of her breasts to let his tongue out to shamelessly lick the perked nipple. He kneeled on the bed, quickly removing his boxers, and rested both forearms on either side of Hanzo’s body to suck properly the skin on her breasts.

“Oh, you’re a fuckin’ dream, so toothsome,” he said, his mouth full of Hanzo’s generous breast. He landed kisses everywhere, licking and lapping her flesh as his life depended on it. Hanzo loudly moaned at the cowboy’s attention, gripping his cock tightly. McCree thrust into her hands faster, losing control of his own judgment, sucking on one of her nipples harder, Hanzo whining and squeezing her hands tightly around him.

McCree suddenly stopped, panting and grabbing her wrists so she would stop. “Darlin’, give me a break or this is goin’ to be over sooner than we both want to,” he said, catching his breath, glancing at Hanzo’s beautiful flushed face and pink cheeks.

“Jesse,” Hanzo said, and the cowboy blinked surprised when she used his first name. “Did you mean what you said?”

“My dear, if you already don’t know that I’m all ‘bout ya’, and that I’m in love with your sweet, grumpy ass, I’m doin’ somethin’ very wrong,” McCree said and kissed her madly again, to melt his words into her mouth. He cupped both her breasts with his hands and lewdly kissed both her nipples before running his tongue downwards, trailing a path of saliva right below her belly and heading efficiently between her legs. He stopped right there, glancing at her folds and then up at Hanzo, who impatiently looked at him.

“Don’t stop, gunslinger,” she ordered, lusciously watching the cowboy pressing his tongue right in her center. Hanzo moaned and tilted her head back as McCree circled his tongue around his clit and parted her folds to lap her slick entrance greedily.

“Yer’ so fuckin’ juicy, my dear,” the cowboy mumbled into his flesh, the rumble of his voice sending a shiver through her spine, arched by her arousal. He kept stroking her clit with his tongue, now faster, devouring and relishing in her soaked flesh while two fingers thrust inside her and Hanzo moaned.

“God, I want to be inside ya’ so bad,” he said against his swollen nub, pulling his fingers in and out of her.

“You never shut your mouth,” Hanzo mewled, grasping a hand full of the cowboy’s hair.

“Honey, I could make you come recitin’ the bible between your legs If I knew the words,” McCree said, and chuckled, still running his tongue up and down her clit until Hanzo pulled his hair to make him stop. A mischievous smile spread on the cowboy’s face, who cleaned his mouth with the back of his arm before going up to kiss Hanzo.

“Sit and lean on the headboard, cowboy,” Hanzo ordered, and McCree arched an eyebrow at her and quickly obeyed. He looked like the cat that got the cream. The cowboy attentively watched Hanzo straddling him, her slick entrance teasing the tip of his cock, which made him groan loudly.

Hanzo ran his hands over his hairy chest at the same time that she lowered her hips and took his thick throbbing length inside her, making the cowboy pant with yearning, watching his member disappear between her luscious legs.

“Goddammit, sweetheart, I’m losing it here,” he said, breathless, and harshly grabbing her ass to make her move against him. Hanzo leaned forward to kiss him, but McCree bit her lower lip and slapped her ass. She glared at him but rocked her hips, taking his hardness in and out, slowly at first and, then faster, driven by her own impatience and fleshy urge of owning the cowboy.

“If you do that again, cowboy…,” Hanzo warned him, and the cowboy slapped her again, rubbing his hand after to ease the sting. A fucking annoying grin all over his face. She didn’t stop. She blushed and met the cowboy’s thrust under her with the rocking of her hips. The gifted cowboy filled her so right and so well she felt the smoldering pleasure already growing inside her.

“Come for me, honey,” the cowboy said, more like a desperate beg, feeling his own arousal imminent, his cock tightly wrapped by her folds. He clawed his fingers at her ass, pulling her hips into his member, thrusting into her at the same time and spilling himself inside her at the sensation of her folds pulsing around him. Hanzo came with a loud moan that sounded like his name, and then, she bit the base of his neck, firmly clenching her teeth and pressing her tongue against his flesh. The waves of pleasure enveloping her and making her tremble over the cowboy, who had his arms now wrapped around her. He grunted at the pain and then chuckled at the unexpected love bite from Hanzo.

She rocked her hips against him until his member slid from her and they caught their breath. McCree rolled on top of her and kissed her jaw and her lips, with a stupid grin on his face.

“You’ve got a bite, sweetheart,” he said, complaining by the lingering sting on his neck, that will surely bruise later.

“You are mine, gunslinger. Do not fool yourself,” Hanzo said, kissing the love bite and the cowboy’s lips after. But Hanzo frowned and gasped. “Will you stop pursuing me now, then?”

McCree’s guffaw resonated in the room, watching Hanzo’s worrying face disappear quickly to find the loving glare she had for him instead. “Not a chance, darlin’,” he said. “In any case, you’ll have a clingin’ cowboy on your bed for the rest of your life.”

She broadly smiled, something McCree will have to get used to seeing more often now. “You said something like that yesterday, inebriated as you were,” Hanzo teased him, snuggling against his chest and playing with the thick hair of his chest.

“What else, honey?” the cowboy asked, stroking her hair. Hanzo turned around to lay her chin on his chest and glance at him, a smug smile on her face.

“You said you loved me, gunslinger,” Hanzo said. McCree blushed and grinned, shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ya’ know my dear, a drunk mind speaks a sober heart,” he said, grabbing her hand and gently kissing her knuckles.

“As long as you’ll have me,” Hanzo said, matching his grin with her own and pressing her lips into the cowboy’s with longing and love, lots of love.

McCree suddenly broke the kiss, feeling the need to speak his mind. “Next time, you ride my face while you’re wearin’ my hat, deal sugar?” he said, arching an eyebrow at her and chuckling at the roll of her eyes.

“You filthy, cowboy,” Hanzo complained, narrowing his eyes and relishing in the lustful glance McCree had for her.

“Deal.”


End file.
